So not much new since the last time I blogged. Liam is still a monster/angel, my house is still a disaster, I am gaining weight and I don't know how I am doing that but oh well, I am still going to exercise and hope for the best. James is watching a really boring movie... I got a new phone this weekend, it has a keyboard so now I am totally into the texting thing. I guess I see how people can get hooked on it. Lastly, Jessica had her baby, and I got to see him yesterday and hold him for the first time. He was so sweet. I miss holding a little one like that, though Liam really didn't like to be held all that much. She is doing really well, like she was meant to be her baby's mommy. It just wasn't like that for me and I chalk it up to the fact that we had a really rough start. It took me a long time to get used to being a mom and to actually realize that Liam was my baby, the whole bonding thing just didn't click on for me. I felt more like he was just this little person who was in my life, but I really didn't understand what it meant to be his mother, I am not sure if that makes sense. I remember waiting to feel that connection for the first couple of weeks and when it didn't come I really thought that I was in trouble, but the first time that he smiled at me, was the first time that I felt like I knew my place in the world. Even though I complain about him a lot and most of the time I feel lost, I wouldn't change the little guy for anything. He is just so wonderful, he does need a little lesson in manners and how to be nice to others though, something that I myself am going to have to work on. I think he hits and yells because he sees me yell and carry on. I hate the imitation phase. Well, I have got some seriously bad heart burn. I am going to go to bed now.
Good night
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